So I found out today that the girlfriend I had in primary school died


She died a few months ago but I didn’t see the facebook posts until today. I never really saw her after primary school, although I did think of her often. I didn’t have her on facebook jet, since I didn’t know her last name and I didn’t have facebook until I was almost at the end of highschool. I looked up her profile today and she was really beautiful. Her hair colour changed and of course she had become older too. She looked happy in lots of the photos, but the people who posted about her death think she might have committed suicide.

A few years ago I made a few attempts to do so myself. I wanted to jump off a tall building, but there was a small wall on the upper floor so it prevented me from going through with it.

I’m kind of sad, but I never get that devastated by the death of people I know. I kind of want to visit her grave, but I don’t know where it is. I think I’d like to pray, even though I don’t believe in supernatural entities. Not all aspects of religion depend on you actually believing they’re true.

I sent a message to her facebook profile. Of course she’s not going to see it, but I thought it might be therapeutic for me to do so. I really miss her now, even though I’ve not seen her in about 13 years.

I think I’ll keep this post short, but I really want to talk to people, so maybe leave a comment.

3 thoughts on “So I found out today that the girlfriend I had in primary school died

  1. I just heard she was cremated so there is no grave. I kind of like it though, since I’ve always thought I’d like to be cremated after I die. Takes up less space and less work for people maintaining the dead.

    Like

    1. I think I generally risk falling into the category of people who don’t deal with their feelings when things are actually happening, but fall into a deep depression a few months after that. That’s why I wrote “I’m kind of sad, but I never get that devastated by the death of people I know. ” It’s a sentence that’s perhaps kind of a lie but it’s a lie that sounds true to me when I’m not doing self-analyses/ deep introspection.

      I think this time I’m dealing with loss correctly, but only time will tell I guess.

      Like

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