Out of the desert

My mind was in the desert for a while
My thoughts dried out by desert wind
Motivation rare like an oasis
Depression stretched out across the vast sands of time
Energy was like the rain
Rare and quickly fleeting

Now the rain is coming back
The oasis expands
Life springing up every which way
Blossoming plants
Leaves every which way
Drinking from the rain
Catching the sunlight
I hope for me it won’t be as short and rare as life sprung up from desert rain

_________________________________

Mostly written some time ago. Recently I’ve experienced a few dips in my mental health, but I hope I’m currently again getting out of a valley. I’m not sure what started the valley I’m currently still (partially) in.
It started after a day in which I had eaten very little (I tried to only eat in the evening that day and limit how much I ate). That day I also had a very negative experience with someone on Twitter, maybe that contributed a bit too.
After that day I felt a distinct lack of energy. Very much a desert feeling. Feeling like you’re in the desert, slow, maybe thirsty, a little tired, with no motivation to do anything.
I hope I’m indeed getting out of the “desert.” It’s not a nice mental place to be in.


Psychiatry

I followed the shadow down a path
I didn’t even notice how
When I didn’t look
The shadow burned down the path I came

Now I’m stuck here in the dark
Forced to follow the shadow once more


This poem might be an unfair characterisation of psychiatry as a whole, but I feel like it describes my experiences with it fairly well. I feel like the psychiatrists I have had didn’t know about all the risks of the medication they prescribed. In some cases not even all the known risks. As a result I feel like they lead me down a darker path than my life would have taken without them.

No (more) rest

Always something

Something to do

Lives full of endless tasks

The world made possible by human work.

Work with connection is a must

Always online

Always in touch

Always connected

Spy on you they just…

                *

But without work

Life’s not a gentle breeze.

Storms of self doubt

Futures looming

Beyond the horizon of right now

Thoughts of will bees

Will be bosses

Will be partners

Will be hardships and will be troubles

Would they care

                For what I do

                And what I strive for

Sometimes there’s no rest

Even when

Nothing is to be done


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Life’s hills and valleys

Up and down our lives do go
From financial stress to getting scammed
Life just throws stuff our way
Mental health can be a burden too
Not getting out of bed or seeing enemies in all

Things just haven’t gone our way
We’ve had good times too
But material success just isn’t ours
We’ve been happy
Though the circumstances might not be the best
But inner peace depends not on wealth
It’s there for us
We lucky few
Who’ve found some peace within our mind
Temporary as it may be for me sometimes*


edit 14-5-2021: small alterations to both poem (*added line) and layout